Happy Diwali

Hello Guys, Happy Diwali. I hope you are doing fine.

Today is Thursday and I don't have anything special to present. I am really sorry for that. I can say it will never happen again. Actually, I have an excuse, I was working on an article but I didn't get enough time to complete it. My younger brother wanted to go to his aunt's but my father had some work for him on the farm, so he didn't allow him. He was upset coming home, he said I really want to go. Then I said I will handle the work, you go and he was so happy. I don't really go to the field, not to do hard work at all. But this time I was expected to do work and I did spend the whole day working there. First I cut the plants of the cotton crop, I felt like a Wakandan worrier fighting with Thanos's army, taking them one by one, and then I collected them. Now my whole body is aching I have done this much work after a long time. 

There isn't much excitement in my house for Diwali because some close relative passed away.  It is sad but we have to deal with it now. My day started with studying hard concepts of Solid State Physics. I watched a movie- Batman vs Superman. It is a classic superhero movie, got some motivation the way Bruce Wayne transforms himself to have a fight with Superman. I need that much motivation right now. Then I did a good amount of physical work and now I feel tired very much. No nuts November is going on so I can't do anything bad, that's pretty sad. Then we decorated home with some diyas and now I am writing this after having a full mean. Everyone outside is celebrating Diwali playing with firecrackers and it is noisy here. I have no interest in fireworks. It caused pollution man.

So today nothing special no poem so let me share a piece from my story Neem

Diwali brings so many memories back, especially these combinations, my birthday around Diwali, a song called Naja and the angel. It was then in my first year. I was more excited than anything.. we decorated JCR. put Diyas in college and Sanskrit students reciting the spells, mere mesmerizing. The song Naja was played in the background I don't know why would anyone play that erotic song on auspicious occasions but it was there. I was enjoying that though, and at this moment she came from heaven, the angel. 

She was wearing a white frock kind of thing... Her hairs open and her eyes... as beautiful as it should be cmon she is an angel. And I know that was a moment I discovered a love for the first time. Among all those persons present there, she just walked to me and said Happy Diwali. Her hands folded in Namaskar Mudra with that added to her beauty... he just had me. 

After that she came to me and offered me a handshake. (I have never touched hand of a girl before.) And it was gentle, and was great. She said, 'Happy Diwali and happy birthday in advance, Shyam.'. Her soft voice and beautiful accent made my name the most beautiful chant in the whole universe.  (Did I tell you that next day was my birthday?) After that she just disappered. She teleported herself to Parilok. She stole my heart that day, and I still don't have that. 

I had all my whishes uncompeleted. I wanted to dance with her, showing her my moves on the song Naja and tell her how much I love her. In those lyrics I wanted her to dance with me. I wanted her to sit with me and listen to my stories... I just wanted to see her endlessly in those typical parilok dress code. But that didn't happen. Rest of Diwali was fine.

Today, I have everything, my birthday just passed few days ago. Diwali is there, T-Siries has just released remake of Naja and I have everything but the angel didn't come. She didn't wish me happy birthday on the date nor today. I called her but she didn't come. I lost her permanetly... I lost her!!! 

I have lost many friends in lockdown because I am not a fan of social midea and I couldn't keep it well but losing her is not like anyone of them... she was my love... she was my source of energy source of will source of motivation to live. I lost her and I am crying... 

Perhaps I lost her because I wanted more than friendship... Now even if she takes me as a slave, not even as a friend, I am happy. I don't want to get her... I just want feel her presence... I am dying without her...