Frame of Reference


One day, One of my Juniours came up with this problem. She said that they are forcing her to learn Hindi. I was surprised to listen to her because my other North-Eastern friends were excited to learn Hindi, they never thought it was a problem. Jeptha, for example, learned some words of Rajasthani. He was very excited to learn Hindi. I told her that she was not being forced to learn Hindi. 

"They don't ask us what we want to learn, they are just making sure that every one of us knows Hindi, this is clearly majoritism. They want to suppress all other languages, they want to push every bead into a single thread. They will kill our already dying culture."

I was completely shocked by her answer. She seemed reasonable. I couldn't counter this argument. I used my ultimate weapon. 

"Well, that's one way to look at it."

"Ask them why don't they give the option, why is it compulsory? Why only Hindi, why not Urdu? Why not Mizo?"

 "I want you to look at it as an opportunity to learn Hindi, it is widely spoken in India and it will open your way to make new friends and engage with non-teaching staff. It will be a beautiful experience, I promise. You will enjoy it a lot."

"How can you enjoy something you are being forced to do?"

"You can! Look there is beautiful Hindi literature. You can't take pleasure in it just because you don't know the script. Once you get into reading Hindi poems, you will enjoy them a lot. You will like Hariwansh Rai Bachchan and other poets. It is very beautiful. And think about Hindi movies, ain't they beautiful? Don't you enjoy them? Think about watching them in the original language. You will not regret learning Hindi, I promise. Just take this step, you will cherish this forever."

I saw she was listening. 

"How can you enjoy something you are being forced to do?" She said. She looked frustrated.

"You can."


"Sometimes, we don't know what is good for us. Sometimes we need to look at what others are saying. Wise people exist and sometimes they wants us to do things forcefully but they just want good for us.

My parents mostly make me do things I say I don't like, but if I loot at the greater picture, I can see they just want my good."

"What does it has to with Hindi?"

"I want you to look at this from an another point of view, I want you to look at it as an opportunity to learn something new. You gotta learn a new language, isn't it cool?" 

"Please stop. We have gone through a lot, and I don't want to fight with you. I get anger issues on this topic."

"I am sorry, I won't push it further."

That day I couldn't convince her but I met her one year later in college, and She was asking me to recommend her Hindi poets to read. I was very surprised by this. She changed from hating Hindi to loving Hindi within one year. I asked her how did it happen?

"When I was in residence, some of my friends insisted me to talk in Hindi. And soon, I started to enjoy it. Now I can understand and speak Hindi very well.

I remember what you said you can enjoy things you just need it to look from a different point of view, a different frame of reference." 

That day I learned a lesson, an important lesson. Sometimes, when we think we are betrayed, or being forced, we just need to look it from a different point of view and everything is settled. 

As Satinder Sartaaj sir says, when you have fight with someone, or you are having trouble in any relationship. You should look at the matter from the point of view of other person. You will find that he is not wrong at his position, he is just trying to protect you. If you look from his perspective, all the matters are sorted out!